What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just crazy horny about you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
