There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
