What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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