I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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