She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize