I wanna bring you to show and tell
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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