so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
