covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think I am morally bankrupt
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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