How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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