So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
