it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
