the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
