I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
