her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
