I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
why do cheetos always look like penises
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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