We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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