Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
