Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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