I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
