guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
tell me about the eggs
Randomize