so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
