The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
