I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
