By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
