whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
