White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
