I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
