I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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