At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
