I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
