I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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