Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
