I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize