i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
