im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize