She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
