so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
