We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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