you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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