id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
