atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
