Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
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Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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