you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
