So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
