Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
