my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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