I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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