My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
