Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize