I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize