theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
