So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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