So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
