If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
