somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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