Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
