bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
