I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
