no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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