Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
