hell yes lets make some ravioli
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
